- A tech worker uses microdosing to manage PTSD and improve her performance at work.
- Microdosing helps him concentrate and reduces panic attacks, increasing work efficiency.
- Despite the benefits, she remains cautious due to the potential risks of using high-level mushrooms.
This spoken essay is based on a conversation with a 46-year-old tech worker from Atlanta, who wished to remain anonymous for personal and professional reasons. Business Insider verified her identity and employment, and her words have been edited for length and clarity.
I work in technology for a well-known Fortune 40 company. I started working for this company in 2004 when I was 26 years old. In 2012, my company placed me in Atlanta to open a new center, so I moved there with my husband and daughter.
One day at work, I was told to speak to an employee who was considered combative. On the way to talk to this person, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I went to the bathroom to relieve myself, but I still felt out of breath. I continued my work day with this feeling.
Later that day, I gave a presentation. As I began to present, my voice and entire body began to shake. I didn’t realize it was a panic attack.
A couple of years later, in 2014, I started microdosing to combat those strong feelings. I found that it made me better at my job – although I have to be careful.
I started microdosing to help with my complex PTSD
I had a traumatic life as a child that included abuse and abandonment. This led to me developing complex PTSD and being diagnosed with dissociative personality disorder as an adult.
When I moved to Atlanta, it was the most stressful job I’ve ever had. I was in charge of hundreds of employees who reported directly to me.
During this time, my ex-husband from my previous marriage started a court case to get custody of our daughter. It was the most stressful time of my life. My colleague suggested I talk to a professional and get help, but I was afraid to see a cognitive behavioral therapist or “talk therapist.” Before I moved to Atlanta, talking about my past with a therapist made my body feel like it was physically in danger because of my CPTSD.
I also tried concentration patches, ADHD medication, and all kinds of physical changes to my environment, but nothing worked or the side effects were unpleasant. I didn’t want to outdo myself this time.
In April 2013, I started attending a non-denominational church where I met a life coach. She recommended using mushrooms medicinally to treat trauma. In December 2013, I attended my first medicine ceremony.
My performance at work was suffering
Although it helped me feel relieved, at this time I was told that my work performance was suffering. I was disengaged at work due to stress, which made my work inconsistent. I was also cutting myself off from working outside.
During my dissociations, I felt disconnected from my body and my environment. Sometimes I was driving in my car and I felt like my car was floating. I decided to give cognitive behavioral therapy another try.
From attending my own medicine ceremonies, I learned about microdosing. My body is very sensitive to drugs and alcohol, so I was interested in learning more about how microdosing would affect me. But I didn’t know where to get drugs. I found someone who sold me 10 microdosing capsules through my ceremony contacts for $40. I took the capsules for two days, then took a day off. Since I was taking them multiple days a week, it got expensive.
Buying from traders was difficult and unstable, so I decided to grow my own mushrooms. I experimented and learned how to do it myself, growing it in a tub.
The combination of traditional talk therapy and microdosing has changed my life
Microdosing creates space between my mental, emotional and physical states, so I disengage less and am less prone to panic attacks. When I have big projects, I have a hard time knowing where to start or what to focus on. Microdosing helps me focus on one task at a time to tackle the project in smaller chunks and not feel overwhelmed.
Although my job requires coding, research is also a major component of my job. I often have to solve unique problems that don’t have much literature on them. It makes it hard to stay focused because I’m constantly going back and forth between coding and researching, but microdosing helps me get into a flow state.
Despite being a bit foggy about the problems I’m working on, I can stay on track when switching between research and coding. It also helps me remember new information better.
My therapist has warned me against medicine ceremonies
I have to be careful. There was one time I accidentally took twice the usual dose, saw my hands shaking and realized I was too drunk to work. I knew I couldn’t handle a meeting with colleagues in this condition. Fortunately, I was able to take some time during my lunch break to get back to my regular self and was able to get back to work.
I am open with my therapist about my microdosing. She is supportive, although she has warned me about attending medicine ceremonies because taking high doses of mushrooms can cause dissociation. My body already shuts down due to PTSD so that could make things worse for me.
My performance has improved now I am a lawyer
I don’t need Xanax or antidepressants. I just need a little help. Microdosing helps me bridge the gap between traditional medication and lifelong withdrawal. My work performance has improved a lot.
Since starting microdosing, I have been a much better mother, wife, employee, and person. I am a lawyer.
Editor’s Note: There is no medical consensus on whether these psychedelics have benefits and these drugs can come with risks.
If you have any unique experiences with microdosing at work and would like to share your story, please email Manseen Logan at mlogan@businessinisder.com.