A friend I made when I was 11 inspired me to try harder in life

  • I was an average student with no ambition to go to college or pursue a high career.
  • But my friend Gerry knew exactly how much she wanted to succeed in life before she was 11 years old.
  • Her engaging personality deeply influenced me and motivated me to improve my game.

I rarely see my four best girls from middle and high school. It only happens when the stars align, and we’re back in our hometown at the same time.

Three of the women still live in our native England, one is in Australia and I am in the US having moved across the Atlantic almost 20 years ago.

However, we all gathered in the summer of 2016 for lunch at a beautiful hotel to mark the 30th anniversary of our high school graduation. And, in 2023, we booked a similar reunion at the same location.

A friend supported another during a difficult time at school

Unfortunately, one of the group could not make it that time. Geraldine – affectionately known as Gerry – had to cancel at the last minute due to a national rail strike in the UK. This meant she could not travel 250 miles from her home in London.

“Here’s to Gerry,” we said, clinking our wine glasses. She has always been the life and soul of the party. Inevitably, we reminisced about the good old days at school and the part she had played in them.

“I owe Gerry a lot,” said my friend, Louise. To my surprise, she said she might have dropped out of high school if it hadn’t been for Gerry.

I had never heard the story before, but she had convinced Louise to stick with it. It turned out that Louise was so overwhelmed by one of the classes they took together that she almost decided to quit.

Gerry’s encouragement didn’t stop at a pep talk. She became Louise’s study partner, spending hours each week helping her understand the complex subject of science. “It got me into my biology degree, my postgraduate certificate in education and ultimately a job,” said Louise, a teacher.

She called it her “sliding doors moment” and speculated about where she might have been without Gerry’s influence.

It affected me too

It got me thinking about the impact of my relationship with our mutual friend of 40 years. Gerry, who came from a working-class background, was an achiever who excelled in academics and sport.

She attended one of the best colleges in the UK and became a venture capitalist. She served on company boards and was financially secure enough to retire before she turned 50.

It was always part of her plan. I remember she told me she was going to leave a legacy. “I don’t want to be famous,” she said. “But I want to leave a mark.”

We were in high school at the time. None of my peers, except Gerry, would have said such a thing at 16, let alone 11. She had already decided to study economics at university before a career in finance. All she had to do was get the right grades.

Her ambition was surprising – and appealing. I’ve always been an average student, but after meeting Gerry, I upped my game. It’s mostly scary, but we ran a “Flame of Knowledge” contest in our little group of friends where we recorded our grades. A winner – almost always Gerry – was announced every few months. There was even a strange trophy.

I often wonder where I would be if it hadn’t been for Gerry

Meanwhile, no one in my family had been to university. I wasn’t going that way either. I wanted to be a newspaper reporter like my father, and you didn’t need a degree for that job at the time. However, when Gerry was excited about college, I wondered why I wasn’t even considering him.

She also inspired me to put more effort into sports. I’m not athletic, but after seeing Gerry on the track, I started running. She was also a keen artist. In our junior year, at her urging, we took a course at our local library taught by a famous children’s book writer and illustrator. I wrote about it on my college application.

It helped me get accepted into a good university. I am now in my 34th year of journalism – a profession that has taken me from London to New York. I will never be able to follow my friend’s example and retire early, but I think I have done well in life.

Louise’s revelation at the reunion that Gerry was finally lost made me realize the profound effect she had had on me as well. Ever since, I’ve wondered about the “sliding doors” and what might have happened if I hadn’t met her 45 years ago in the sixth grade.

Here’s to you, Gerry.

Do you have an interesting story to share with Business Insider about someone who had a big impact on you? Please send details to jridley@businessinsider.com